imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
