and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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