His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
