Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
