What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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