Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
