come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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