You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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