if i can run in heels then i can drive
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
