Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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