I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
