things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
