he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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