SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize