ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
