after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
