thus making me awesome and them whores
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he had hair everywhere except his balls
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
