her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
