Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
