dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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