You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
