Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
