3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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