Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize