I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
