Jerry, you need to find god
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
