It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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