no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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