I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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