Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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