U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
