I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need a beard to bite.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
