He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
