On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
