ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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