Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
