I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
soo... how was my night?
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