Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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