Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
