Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
