I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
