I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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