At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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