Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
