i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
