I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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