...so i touched it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
