I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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