i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
