I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
3pm strippers are depressing
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
