your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
