She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
