Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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