i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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