So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
