just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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