I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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