HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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