New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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