just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
