Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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