I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Drunk is a universal language darling
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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