Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
