He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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