New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
