I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
